A common pig butchering scam often begins when the target gets an “accidental” text message from the scammer – often purporting to be a woman – and the target innocently responds. The scammer then apologizes and begins a bit of back and forth with the mark, hoping to rope them in, with the eventual goal of suckering them into some crypto investment scam. During the initial hook attempt, the scammer will often send a photo of an attractive woman (almost always an Asian woman) and ask for one in return.

If you ever get one of these, don’t engage. Block the number and delete the text. Despite the photo, the scammer is most likely a man working on a string of victims at one time.

I received one of these a few weeks ago. My immediate normal reaction is to chuckle at the attempt as I hit the “block and report” option on the text app. But I had not received one of these in some time, so I decided to have some fun. This is how it started:

I’ve seen the message say “are you playing golf with us?” or “How about the beach tomorrow?” or something similar. Recognizing this come-on, I thought carefully about a reply. So I turned to some lyrics from one of my favorite bands, Was (Not Was):

Apparently a bit baffled, they responded:

I felt bad for a microsecond that this made them “sad.” In hope of cheering them up, I replied:

I guess they thought I was being cute or silly or something:

Yes, I am – crazy as a fox, that is. I decided to provide a bit of variety in my “crazy” display and I turned to another great artist and poet, Don Van Vliet, better known as Capt. Beefheart:

This apparently sent my muse off the deep end:

Truly a pity. No sense of humor at all. I closed our brief encounter with this send-off:

Well, that last bit was just the Florida State fan in me cheering for a victory in their next game (which they won). I assume that my friend actually read the last reply – note the RCS blue checks.

As an active anti-scammer, I should conclude this by saying you shouldn’t engage with these clowns, ever. I had fun this one time, but if they think they’ve roped you, they’re incessant. Just don’t.

(Credit where it’s due: lyrics from “Tell Me That I’m Dreaming”, “The Sky’s Ablaze With Ladies’ Legs” and “Walk The Dinosaur” by Was (not Was), and “The Past Sure Is Tense” and “Hey, Garland, I dig Your Tweed Coat” by Capt. Beefheart and the Magic Band).