Out Loud Thoughts

Fun with Text Scammers

A common pig butchering scam often begins when the target gets an “accidental” text message from the scammer – often purporting to be a woman – and the target innocently responds. The scammer then apologizes and begins a bit of back and forth with the mark, hoping to rope them in, with the eventual goal of suckering them into some crypto investment scam. During the initial hook attempt, the scammer will often send a photo of an attractive woman (almost always an Asian woman) and ask for one in return.

If you ever get one of these, don’t engage. Block the number and delete the text. Despite the photo, the scammer is most likely a man working on a string of victims at one time.

I received one of these a few weeks ago. My immediate normal reaction is to chuckle at the attempt as I hit the “block and report” option on the text app. But I had not received one of these in some time, so I decided to have some fun. This is how it started:

I’ve seen the message say “are you playing golf with us?” or “How about the beach tomorrow?” or something similar. Recognizing this come-on, I thought carefully about a reply. So I turned to some lyrics from one of my favorite bands, Was (Not Was):

Apparently a bit baffled, they responded:

I felt bad for a microsecond that this made them “sad.” In hope of cheering them up, I replied:

I guess they thought I was being cute or silly or something:

Yes, I am – crazy as a fox, that is. I decided to provide a bit of variety in my “crazy” display and I turned to another great artist and poet, Don Van Vliet, better known as Capt. Beefheart:

This apparently sent my muse off the deep end:

Truly a pity. No sense of humor at all. I closed our brief encounter with this send-off:

Well, that last bit was just the Florida State fan in me cheering for a victory in their next game (which they won). I assume that my friend actually read the last reply – note the RCS blue checks.

As an active anti-scammer, I should conclude this by saying you shouldn’t engage with these clowns, ever. I had fun this one time, but if they think they’ve roped you, they’re incessant. Just don’t.

(Credit where it’s due: lyrics from “Tell Me That I’m Dreaming”, “The Sky’s Ablaze With Ladies’ Legs” and “Walk The Dinosaur” by Was (not Was), and “The Past Sure Is Tense” and “Hey, Garland, I dig Your Tweed Coat” by Capt. Beefheart and the Magic Band).

Birthday gift problem for modern parents? Solved.

Modern parents have critical issues facing them, especially regarding their kids. We live in a brave but tough new world. I wish my parents were still alive so I could ask them just how they navigated the treacherous waters of parenthood. I just turned 70, so I suppose it doesn’t matter. I think I turned out pretty good. Kelly and I have chosen not to have any more children, too, so no worries about the future.

Naturally, when a new crisis in child-rearing appears in the culture, the choice is to either promote a solution or complain about it on the planet’s virtual soap box, TikTok. I found a complaint, provided via this story, about an event many have experienced – a child’s birthday party.

This woman’s child was invited to a friend’s party. Three days before the event, the host parent broadcast a number of “requirements” for gifts to invited parents. Hoping her child would grow as an environmental steward, she stated gifts should have no bright colors, make no sound, not be constructed of plastic and be packaged in recyclable (not disposable) materials.

These requirements, which the host parent referred to as “a strict rhetoric,” may be a bit strident to some of us older, experienced and sane folks who raised small children. However, I believe I know the ideal gift for this situation:

A bag of shit.

This unique gift satisfies the host’s “rhetoric” in every way:

Meets the color criteria. Not bright, but brown. Like the UPS truck;
The gift is silent, satisfying the no-noise requirement. The recipient, on the other hand, may have something noisy to say when they open it;
Certainly not plastic. Though plastic particles from various ingested foods might be there – you just don’t know these days;
“Waste-free” packaging? Simple – a brown paper bag. Recyclable and likely already in the pantry.

In addition to the low environmental impact of the gift and the packaging, this gift has an additional feature.

The host parents don’t want bright, noisy toys that their child abandons, leaving them no choice but to donate the toy to some organization. Imagine the horror – you have something you don’t need and the idea of giving it to someone who can use it just seems beyond pale, right? Sounds contrary to the “save the planet” ideas they are teaching their child. Whatever happened to “paying it forward”?

Not a problem with my gift idea. The recipient can extend the fun and share the gift by just waiting for America’s favorite night of sharing, Halloween. The kids can pay it forward by leaving the gift in its recyclable brown bag package on the step of their favorite neighbor – or perhaps some neighbor they don’t care for much, hopefully to improve relations. To make sure the neighbor receives the full fun experience, the giving child should light the bag on fire before ringing the doorbell, just to make absolutely certain their lucky recipient sees it. If observed from a safe distance, the giver will likely see the recipient doing a fun dance of joy when they spot the glowing gift.

This will provide great hilarity to everyone, and it saves Mom and Dad the trouble of making that stop at Goodwill. But most importantly, giving this gift to others builds a foundation of environmental awareness, sharing and charitable thought. What more could the modern parent ask for their precious offspring?

Sharing

Here’s a couple of quick hit things I decided to vent about on a Monday.

Kelly and I would like to do more traveling now that we’ve settled in on retirement. But not here.

The world continues to be shocked…shocked! at the behavior of Kanye West and his current spouse Bianca Censori. Is the world really going to continue being shocked when they show up at some function, him dressed in all-black and her…well, almost naked? There was also a lot of hand-wringing over the photo of a kid peering around the corner to check her out. What’s all the fuss about? His look is like that one all the neighborhood guys had when someone filched a Playboy magazine from their creepy uncle’s collection. Despite all the cultural upheaval in the world over the past 20 years or so, there is one immutable fact: men, no matter their age, will always look at naked women. Or partially naked women. This is genetic.

Regarding Beyoncé’s Grammy win: no, she did not deserve to win Country Album of the Year. I say this not because of a lack of talent, but because there are dozens of women country artists dying to be heard today, most of whom you have never heard. Some will think she won because the Grammy voters didn’t want to appear “racist,” as she was up against all white nominees. But I think they’re all scared shitless of Jay Z, because of his influence and power in the industry. Whatever the reason, the Grammys proved once again that they are among the most meaningless, useless and pathetic awards handed out each year. Right after the Emmys and the Oscars. And the Golden Globes. And the Pulitzer Prizes.

Why?

I read a site this morning that listed 40 or so problems that science is (allegedly) this close to solving.

I read the one in the box above, and my immediate reaction was why would anyone want this?

Not Enough Toilets

I saw this bit of information in Reddit’s Today I Learned subreddit. I have two toilets in my home. Does this make Kel and me privileged and part of the 1%?

I was kind of hoping that my career successes or financial status would be more critical than the number of commodes over which I have domain.

You can’t drive anymore. Or run for President

Kelly sometimes uses really precise analogies to express her opinions. She came up with a great on the other day. We were discussing the pressure being applied to Joe Biden to drop out of the current Presidential race against Donald Trump.

Kelly’s analogy was very familiar. Biden being pushed to drop out is similar to any elderly man or woman being told by family or friends that they shouldn’t drive a vehicle any longer. Not an uncommon scenario and one Kel and I will likely have to face in a few years ourselves.

Her point was that a senior being told they shouldn’t or can’t drive any longer is seen as the first step is taking away their independence. They’ve lived an lifetime of being able to do what they want, when they want, including the ability to hop in their car and take off, hopefully without triggering a Silver Alert. Someone in that position, if honest with themselves, knows they probably should give up the keys. When their vision and hearing start to deteriorate and their reflexes slow, they can easily become a menace to themselves and others on modern American roads, already pretty dangerous places. Nevertheless, that person is likely going to be extremely defensive about that independence and refuse to comply until convinced or forced.

How does this relate to Joe Biden? Neither of us are Biden supporters – we’re both very conservative, but without the fire-breathing antagonism. Many Democrats have deployed a rapid and painful abandonment of Biden, everyone other than Doctor Jill and Six-Gun Hunter. As much as I find his entire presidency pretty horrible, Joe Biden is still the President of the United States, which affords him the right to make up his own mind, as addled as he might appear to be.

He spent a half-century holding public office, clawed his way up the ranks to senior status in the Senate and eventually ended up Obama’s safe pick for Vice President (safe for Obama – knowing no matter how bad things got, elevating Biden to the top job was just too frightening during those eight years – you know, sort of like Kamala Harris today). He benefited from four years of Trump fatigue and the cultural upheaval of the pandemic by managing to get elected President while rarely going outside.

He holds a position few can dream of attaining. Can you blame the guy for not wanting to let go? Hell, Donald Trump did everything he could to keep from giving up the office while continuing to be incessantly hammered by the media. Joe thinks he’s doing a great job and that there’s more to be accomplished. Jill and Hunter don’t want to give all this up, either, leading many to believe that they are pulling the strings hard and convincing him to stick it out.

Joe Biden is being asked to give up his keys. He wants to keep driving. But if he does and he loses control of a crisis or doesn’t react quickly enough to a threat, the nation is going to see a lot more than just a traffic accident.

Did you have chicken pox?

Here is some medical advice, even though you didn’t ask. If you have ever had chicken pox (and a lot of my fellow boomers did as kids, as we didn’t have a vaccine for it), go get a shingles vaccine. Go today. Now. Do not wait.

I am in the tail end of a shingles breakout, because I didn’t listen to my lovely wife and never had the vaccine. (I was in an anti-vax mode after getting the COVID shots and still getting COVID three months later). Shingles sucks so much, I can’t even begin to explain how awful it can be. I’m at the end of three weeks with it and it’s slowly healing. Shingles burn. They itch on the inside, where you cannot scratch. The rash is awful and as it heals, it scabs up. Shingles is contagious to people who never had chicken pox, the chicken pox vaccine or the shingles vaccine – they will get chicken pox, not shingles.

I can get the vaccine, but I have to wait a few months until I’m clear. I’ll be there as soon as I can.

Go do it now. Today.

Here I go again.

When I stopped running one of these a long time ago, I never thought I’d bother again. I’m bothering again. Just a place to drop some random and occasionally disturbing thoughts when the mood strikes. This will change a lot, so be prepared.